Taha’s Moment: Finding “Normal”

By Taha Amir

Published: Lifelines for Health, Winter 2017

I am a 32-year-old male with severe hemophilia A. I moved to the United States, from Saudi Arabia when I was about 7 years old. Within that year, the hematologist told my parents that I had inhibitors - and they were lost, confused, and devastated. My parents knew what hemophilia was because my mom’s brothers also had it. But inhibitors were unheard of. The hematologist said that my body does not accept the “regular” factor, and I needed a bypassing agent called FEIBA. My brother was born in 1992, and he also has hemophilia, but not inhibitors, thankfully. To me, he was considered a “normal” person.

As a kid growing up with hemophilia with an inhibitor, I always stood out. I had bruises, swollen joints, and I walked with a limp. If I wasn’t walking, I was either using a wheelchair, crutches, cane, or a walker. I felt left out because the other kids were playing and walking better than me.

My pediatric hematologist suggested that I attend a hemophilia camp, which I did. The first time I went, I was nervous and scared because I wasn’t in my safety net and away from my parents for the first time. Even at the hemophilia camp, I stood out. I was still “different” from them because I had inhibitors. The “normal” hemophiliacs were still better than I was. Despite my struggles at camp, I attended a couple times after that because I was accepted. It felt like they knew me!

As a teen, I really didn’t attend any hemophilia events because it seemed like I was always bleeding. My younger brother, who also has hemophilia without inhibitors, was able to do more than I could. I felt as if I was the only one who had a different kind of hemophilia, which I did.

As I graduated high school, I decided to change my outlook on life. I attended a hemophilia conference, and met some amazing friends whom I still keep in contact with. At one of these events, I met the co-founder of CHES. She introduced herself and what CHES does for the hemophilia community - especially the inhibitor patients/community. One of the programs they offer is called Momentum, a men’s inhibitor retreat.

So far, I have attended Momentum twice. In July, I had started Immune Tolerance Therapy (ITT) in April 2017. By the time I went to the event, my inhibitor level was 0. Even though it had been 0 for a few months, the hematologists still hadn’t declared tolerization. I still have to do daily infusions of factor for the next few months.

Each time I have gone to the Momentum event, I have learned something new and met some amazing men who actually understand my struggles. The retreat is a three- day event over the weekend. The first day was dinner and a small informative talk by Dr. Dustin Sulak about the uses of medicinal cannabis for both acute and chronic pain. The second day started off with breakfast, a few more educational talks from treatment products to pain management, followed by lunch and more great information like infusion tips and tricks and practical career paths. One of the hot topics of this year’s retreat was health insurance and the current changes by NHF’s Michelle Rice. In the evening, the group went out for dinner and entertainment.

Most of the previous events that I’ve attended were primarily catered to “just normal hemophiliacs.” At Momentum, I feel accepted and better about myself. It has really changed the way I look at events for hemophilia with inhibitors.